12. Focus on the fun bits! Don't try to be perfect.Adult films are a lot more like movies than we think, and that means there are multiple cuts. Silly things happen, everybody laughs, and these parts are edited out. Tori Black said to BuzzFeed:
"There are very few scenes that I have shot in my career that have flowed from start to finish with no awkward leg movements or fumbling from one position when you really weren’t supposed to be in that position. So people feel like they need to put on this flawless performance, and I think that’s a huge, unfortunate misconception — people judge themselves because they do something silly and it ruins their moment, ruins their vibe. I know a lot of women who are embarrassed because they enjoy giving oral sex. They think it's degrading. And I say, 'Why would you think that's degrading if it's something you enjoy?' It's only degrading once you put external judgment on the act. No one's in your bedroom, and if you're performing oral sex on someone who's going to judge you for giving oral sex, then I think something's really wrong. If I can't laugh about it, then that means I'm uncomfortable, and if I'm uncomfortable then I'm not going to orgasm. And if I'm not going to orgasm, why am I even having sex?""
11. If you and your partner are new to each other, test things out.We are our most vulnerable selves when we are having sex. We are letting people into our bodies and that can be pretty intimidating. So it's important to see what works, what doesn't, and to communicate it between each other. Conversely, neglecting your partner's interest in everything you're doing to them could make them feel uncomfortable, violated, or taken advantage of. Tori explains:
"You can feel it in the energy. In their eyes...goosebumps are a real thing. Muscle twitches. It heightens your awareness of another person. When you cater to someone and you pay attention to someone sexually, you find that your relationship improves because they feel catered to — like you're paying attention to them, like you're listening."